Thursday, August 23, 2012

What Counts

I ran yesterday. I had a slight headache and wanted badly to not run, but I ran and that's good. It was stupid hard and I'm not good at it and I was embarrassed but I did it. And, in the long run, that's what counts.
What counts is getting off my butt and moving more. What counts is NOT making excuse after excuse and finding 'reasons' to continue being lazy. I don't love working out. I don't love eating healthier. But, I will do these things. I will make these changes. And eventually, I will enjoy them more. And that is what counts.
I weighed myself the other morning. I won't tell you my weight because my shame is too large (though not larger than the number on the scale, apparently, or it would not have crept up so high). What I will do is say that my number ended in 6.5 and that my first goal is to just get that last number to a 0. I will be giving myself the last few days of this week and then the next two weeks to hit that number. This is the first REAL goal I've set for myself in a while. I think that the 6.5 pound loss will make a difference in the way that I fit into my clothes and the way that I feel, though it might not be a huge deal to most. It's a start. And making a start, as I've said, is what counts.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Couch to 5K

I think I'm really going to do this. I'm planning on signing up for the Glow Run in St. Louis on Oct. 6th. I have never, ever,ever run for fun in my life. I've barely ever run because it was expected of me. I don't run. I don't like to. Or, I didn't. I know that if I want to succeed I have to lose the defeatist attitude and look at this positively. I have to say "I'm going to love running in the long run!" "I"m going to have so much fun doing races with my friends!" and things like that.
The truth is this: My favorite thing in the whole wide world is taking a bath while reading a book. You do not get much more leisurely than that unless you add in wine and now I want nothing more than to do just that. Bath. Book. Booze. Anyway. That does not sound like a recipe for me to be a runner. But I want to be. I want to lose weight and I want to feel better and I've been told this is the way. So here I go.
I'm looking at the Couch 2 5K program, but does anyone have any other suggestions?

Monday, August 13, 2012

Do you wanna take my picture?

This weekend Eric, one of his buddies, and my father worked all day Saturday to put up drywall in the new bedroom in our basement. When we built the house, we did not have the money in the budget to finish the basement and I didn't feel like taking on renters to finance the project, so the basement has been and empty, concrete hole since then. Well, Eric's parents are coming for Christmas and since we had Audrey, we no longer have a guest room. I wanted to take pictures of that space coming to life and share them with you but then Eva "took a picture" of Daddy and proceeded to drop the camera on the bathroom tiles, denting the lens casing (or whatever you call that), thus rendering the camera useless.
Awesome times.
This weekend also marked the first time I've gotten to be with my three long-term best friends at once in.... right about two years. There are lots of pictures from that night, but I didn't take any of them since Eva destroyed my camera right before we headed to the party.
I want to buy a really nice camera. I want a DSLR or whatever the heck they are. Because they take gloriously good pictures and I want to have that capability. I don't, however, have the money in the budget for such a camera, so I'm going to have to go with a more affordable model.
Anyone have any recommendations?

Friday, August 3, 2012

This week

This week has been a struggle for me. I go through phases where I just feel sort of in limbo with life. I want SO MUCH to be Betty Crocker and Martha Stewart and Nanny Jo from Super Nanny all rolled into one and I have a hard time accepting that I am just myself. I get home from work, after my long commute and I am tired. I don't want to make dinner or clean the house. Usually dinner gets made, but the house is left to it's own devices which is to say it's left in the hands of a three year old and a one year old who are on a mission to get every single thing out of every drawer and bin and just drop it where they wish. 
Something has to change and I think we all know it's me. I have to find contentment with my life as it is or make changes to make it what I want it to be. And I think I pick the latter. I say that often and don't follow through, but today I am feeling strong about it. So next week will find me up early to get on the elliptical. That will hopefully get my body moving and get a positive start to the day. Every night will find me at least picking up the house and making sure the counters are wiped down. I will smile more and say yes more to my children. I will find the time, even if that means going to bed a little later, to enjoy the small things in my life.