There is no reason, at the age of 29, I should be indulging in cookies for breakfast or having more than one dessert in a day, just because I want to. I need to get control of myself and make some better freaking decisions. My schedule does not really allow for much down time for working out. That's a fact. It's the way my life is right now. So I will have to MAKE time. I will have to get my happy behind out of bed at four thirty instead of five ten and get on the dreaded elliptical. I will have to work out WITH my children present and deal with them climbing all the hell over me. I will have to actually work out over lunch instead of sitting here at my desk screwing around. It is time.
Another resolution is to master my new camera. That bad boy cost my parents a pretty penny (yes, my parents still get ups all Christmas gifts. This year, they went big for Eric and I and we got the camera) and I'm not going to have it go to waste by taking pictures only in automatic. That's for pansies. (Note that I've now owned a fabulous camera for over a week and I still haven't even downloaded the software so I can put the pictures on this here blog. Because of the Lazy. See? it's full circle.) I don't have any delusions that I'm ever going to be a fabulous photographer or that anyone will pay me to take their pictures, but I'd like to post pictures that other people will not scoff at and maybe take FREE pictures for some family friends who don't have the money to pay someone to do it for them.
Joy. That's the word of the year for me. I'm going to seek it and I'm going to create it. I'm not going to sit back, anymore, and wallow in my feel-sorry-for-myself. And I'm GOOD at wallowing. I am. But, hell, even I'm tired of me being that way. So, it's time to put on some sassy pants and grow the eff up. I'm not going to let other people's drama eat away at me anymore. I'm going to work on recognizing that the only person I can control is ME (well, and the little ladies because at 3 and 18 months they don't get to have a whole lot of decision making) and I'm going to focus on that. I spend a lot of my time being bogged down. I'm not a happy person by nature. I find a lot of joy in the little things, but I also find a lot of sorrow if I let myself. And, as I've stated, I'm an excellent wallower. It's a skill. I'm hoping to find little ways, every day, to bring joy into my life, but not just for me. I want to GIVE joy, as well. We'll see how this goes, but I started yesterday. Found a little something that made me think of my best friend at the store and bought it. It's nothing much but I know it will bring a smile to her face and I love that I will be giving her a little piece of joy without even having to work hard at it.
Another thing I love is what Megan at Honey We're Home did. Instead of creating a list of regular resolutions, she created a More and Less list. It's a wonderful idea, I think, so I'm going to ALSO steal that concept and jot down a few of those things myself:
Less Worry~More Faith
Less Quantity~More Quality
Less External~More Internal
Less Down~More Up
Less Television~More Movement
Less "Not now, girls"~More "Let's play!"
Less Processed~More Fresh
With that, I'm going to shut up for a bit. Hopefully I will spend some of my time today learning about that camera and thinking of little happy things I can do and not eating terrible things. Wish me luck.
What are your goals this year? Do you do resolutions, have a 'word for the year' or are you looking to change your life in some other way?
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